What’s Jack up to? As I’m writing this he’s down in the basement giving me a break and being company to the DH who’s been working was too hard lately. I’ve been seeing way too much of his back.

America’s Next Top Model Finale Time

It’s Finale night for ANTM and it’s down to Fatima, Anya and Whitney. Tonight the girls shoot their Covergirl print ad and commercial and Anya is all verklempt about it. Ahh, so sweet.
Fatima was first and she was beautiful, but a little robotic. Whitney was clearly nervous, no beauty queen fakeness tonight. Anya was cute and giggly and uses her nerves well. Fatima was going on about how she’s so much more relate-able to others than the other girls. Huh? Well, OK, um, if you say so.

Already they are judging. Man this is a quick episode.
Whitney’s commercial was just, Eh. Her photo was also just ok for me, I was not all that crazy for it. What’s with the black and white?
Fatima’s commercial was no winner either and her photo was pretty and I actually like it better than Whitney’s but the photo is better to me and the judges hate it. Go figure.
Anya’s commercial was a mess with her voice but the cutest to me. Her photo was nice but didn’t showcase her. Paulina thought she looked stupid. Ouch. Who took these photos? Not your cute Covergirl shots if you ask me. Did ya? No. Sorry.

What did you say Tyra? A Donatella Vercace show!!! Hold the phone!!!
Commercial break and it was Selisha’s final my life as a covergirl. Buh-Bye- I have to say her’s were forget-able. Give me cha-cha Jaslene over her any day.
Decision time and the final 2 are… Anya and…Whitney!! Wow! Would it be that a plus size model could be the winner of America’s next top model? Is Top Model tired of playing with this?

The Runway show is lots of fun and I love the male models in the very tiny Speedos. Anya is beautiful and Whitney has plenty of attitude. What a short show with only 2 looks for the girls to work out. Oh well. Once again I feel so used. It seems to be the season and just that quick they rush them into the judging room not even changing poor Whitney’s dress.

Things look good for Whitney’s walk since Tyra says she reminds her of herself.

Always a good sign.
Then its comparing photos and they go back and forth. “She’s pretty-no she’s prettier.” It looks like Anya wins here.

So who’s the real winner? It’s…WHITNEY!!!! Holy Smokes. It’s finally happened. Paulina said it this should not be called Plus sized this should just be called BEAUTIFUL.

Sidebar: Syesha is out on America Idol. I don’t think she ever got a fair shake. I’m not happy with it but I didn’t really watch this season. Let’s hope she does half as good a Jennifer Hudson.

Now onto Top Chef to top it all off.

The show opens with the chefs are still tired and Spike is still mad at Dale and Dale like ‘whatever’ and Andrew is still Nuts.

And guess who’s here? Cutie Sam Talbot!!! And another excuse to pull out the photo of me and Sam. Sorry, deal with it!

The chefs have to make a sexy salad in honor of sexy Sam and they have 45 minutes. It had better be fabulous.

I love that Antonia loves a fatty salad!
Having the extra time was too much for Stephanie and she didn’t finish plating her dish. Uh-oh.
Lisa’s dish was no good. Stephanie’s was bad and Richard’s was a no-no.

Sam liked Spike, Antonia and the fat and Dale. Spike is the winner. Boo!! Hiss!!

The elimination challenge is gourmet boxed lunches for the Chicago PD that are healthy too in honor of Sam who is diabetic. Aww.
As the winner Spike gets to pick his protein, vegetable, fruit and whole grain first and then the other chefs can’t use what he picks so he picked chicken, tomatoes and bread to mess up the other chefs royally.
Andrew is extra crazy this episode and making Stephanie smell his ‘success’ in Whole Foods. Back off! Every girl does not want to smell your ‘success’. Nasty!

Here’s the rundown:
Antonia is making curry beef and jasmine rice.
Andrew a Sushi bowl? For police officers?
Dale is doing cabbage cups with bison and Antonia is convinced he is a one trick pony.
Lisa is doing brown rice with Shrimp and stuff. Tom thinks it’s too spicy.
Stephanie is making a mushroom leek soup.
Spike is doing evil chicken salad.
Fauxhawk Richard is doing lentil burritos.

Suddenly Lisa realizes somebody raises the burner on her rice and she is MAD! She’s crying sabotage. Time is running out and its chaos all of a sudden. Lions, Tigers and Bison, Oh my!

Now the chefs are the Chicago police department and being a cagey about passing their food out.
Stephanie’s soup goes over well.
Spike’s salad is pedestrian.
Dale’s bison is nice and flavorful
Antonia’s beef is well cooked and delicious
Andrew’s sushi is a manic as he is.
Richard’s burrito is tasty and not an annoying as his catchphrase of “tell me do you like burrito?” Sounds like a bad pickup like to me. Always answer no.

Lisa’s stir-fry is spicy and the rice is undercooked.

Back in the Not So Glad Room Padma calls Dale and Stephanie. I’m happy. They are the top 2. I just love Dale’s green headband. Makes me want to run and get some shell top Adidas. The winner this week is …Dale!!! Yay! In your face Lisa and Spike. He gets wine and to visit Napa. I wonder will Dale be there when I am in July? Hmmm…. Dinner with Dale. How intense would that be?

The losers are are Lisa, Spike and Andrew. Let’s get ready to Rumble.
Andrew is fighting for his sushi and drops the F bomb.
Spike looks hot and sweaty in this week’s hat. The judges call him on his ingredient pick which is great. They saw right through him. Then he got all tippy with Tom. You just don’t do that. Double smack.
Lisa is all, “whatever dude.” Then crying sabotage again. Pla-ease. Nobody believes that mess. The shrimp were bad too. Then she adds out of the blue that Andrew didn’t use a whole grain. Threw him WAY under the bus. WAY UNDER!!!

The Not So Glad Room in mad as hell. Andrew is making even Antonia scared. She needs to move her butt over and away from Lisa. I wouldn’t sit next to her with Andrew making the crazy eyes.

They are all called back and the chef going home is… Andrew. UGH! He’s cute and says that no security is necessary as he leaves. Classy. So Andrew. I’ll miss him. I’m so mad it wasn’t Lisa. SO MAD! UGH!

Best,

Kwana

What’s Jack up to? He’s Happy to have Nana up today. She’s giving him unlimited treats. Talk about spoiled.

First let’s talk America’s Next Top Model


The top model girls land in Rome and Anya’s first step is a face plant out of the van! Poor thing.
Thank goodness the first Tyra mil is read by Whitney alone and not all of them together. Fatima is sick and crying and I’m not feeling anything but wondering where is Mr. Jay and is he really fighting with Tyra and will he be back for another season? Will she? Other reports say it’s totally untrue though.
Are we supposed to be stupid with these “random” women that they are pointing out? Of course they are not random, but models they placed. Did anyone think they were random? Ugh. I’m getting so annoyed by this show.
They had another challenge and what happens? Anya wins again. That girl with the squeaky voice is taking over the world.
Then it’s a Cover Girl commercial in Italian and it’s a full on disaster for most of the girls. And Lauren has to go. What a HOT TRANNY MESS! We’ll see what happens in judging.
We’re in Judging and the bottom two are Whitney and Lauren. Whitney is criticized for being phony but Tyra is still behind her. Come on and just send Thumbelina home….
The verdict is in and it’s…. Lauren. At least they made the right choice.

Now it’s time for the show stopper Top Chef!

The show opens and once again Jen is talking about doing it for Zoi. Ugh. Why do I want her to go home already?
The quick fire is a dessert challenge and the judge is Johnny Izinnu (no, I can’t spell his name). I can tell there are some scared chefs. If you don’t know a dessert then you’re done for. Silly Lisa actually said she swore she wouldn’t do a dessert during this show. What? Has she ever watched the show? Never say Never. Now I want her to go home. I loved that Dale said he had 1 dessert up his sleeve and he was breaking it out! But the winner was… Richard. Ugh. He gets in the Top Chef cookbook.
Now they are going out to Second City for a night on the town and some comedy. But wait it quickly turns bad and it’s the really scary elimination challenge based on horrible improve.
Dale and Richard-green perplexed tofu- They are talking curry and other cool stuff with free beef fat what sure has me
Lisa and Antonia- Magenta drunk polish sausage and Lisa is mad. They are doing something with tequila
Jen and Stephanie- Orange turned on asparagus
Marc and Nikki- Purple depressed bacon
Spike and Andrew- are Yellow Vanilla Love and when they left whole food I wasn’t sure what they were making. Something with squash soup and love without a blender. Because now there’s no electrical equipment. Twister.

The guests arrive at the chef house and Spike and Andrew are first up with vanilla love squash soup and everyone is really loving it.
Jen is obviously missing Zoi a lot because first she’s talking threesomes she and Stephanie and doing a whole skit that’s a little, um, icky and so is the dish.
Dale and Richard came out with their perplexed food and the judges weren’t perplexed. They liked it.
Antonia and Lisa and their drunken sausage fell flat. They seem to hate their suggestion and it showed in their presentation.
Mark and Nikki come out with purple depressed bacon and it’s good, proving once again that all things are better with bacon.

Now for the top chefs. They are Dale and Richard and Spike and Andrew. What?
The winning team is dale and Richard and they each get 2500.00 work of Caphelon. These guys are now rockin’.

Bottom two are Antonia and Lisa and Stephanie and Jen.
Not doing Polish sausage was a killer for them and Jen and Stephanie that Goat cheese was the killer for them plus the while crazy phallic thing. Stephanie run from Jen as fast as you can never partner with her again. She misses her girlfriend too much!

Now back to the Not So Glad room and the girls are scared as hell. Strangely so am I.
Here goes… And it’s Jen that goes home! Wow! I know I wanted her to go but I can’t believe it’s her before Lisa or Nikki or OMG. Spike!!!!!

Oh well. She’s not doing it for Zoi anymore and now and I’m sad.

Best,

Kwana

What’s Jack up to? He’s exhausted after 4 hours at the groomer today with the other “kids”. The dear went straight to the hall closet after and would not come out. He was so over me. But at least he’s clean and you can see his eyes. Picture to come soon.

America’s Next Top Model was a recap show. I just don’t have time for those. It’s like a long commercial break.

The show starts out with Jen being so cute and defending her girl who didn’t cut it last week. The we are introduced to Ming Tsai for the quickfire and the blind taste challenge. Antonia is excited. The chefs have to choose the more expensive dish. Stephanie was the worst which is surprising and Antonia rocked and won so she has immunity.

Now onto the elimination challenge. It meals on wheels! Wheee! And its another team challenge based on the 4 elements of earth, water, fire and air and doing a starter.

Water team: Richard, Andrew and Mark are poaching fish and way too happy about it. WAY to happy with the high fives and of course Richard is in charge and assuming the role as executive chef on the 1 dish starter. Gag me!

Air is Jen, Nikki and Ryan. They are doing duck and pomegranate. Ryan messes up and uses all the pomegranate. Someone get him off the island.

Earth is Spike (with a herringbone fedora) , Antonia and Zoi who are arguing over soup from the start. Chill babies. Get it together.

Fire is the power team with Dale, Stephanie and Lisa. The tension is hot. Lisa is not happy with Dale or his devilish eggs. I love all of Dale’s snide impersonations of Lisa. Oh Dale you are so dry! Onto Whole Foods and Lisa is mad and now fighting for Asian. Way to fight girl! She wins out. Good for her.

Sidebar: I just noticed that Spike is wearing a crazy hat in the confessional that really does look like a Ricky original and I’m nervous for him.

Sidebar over and folks are coming in hungry. Team water’s poached salmon doesn’t look too good. Scaly? Oh very bad.

Team Fire and some good looking grilled shrimp and the judges are happy, happy, happy!
Team air’s Duck is next and uh-oh I head some complaints.
Team Earth and the beef and more complaints from the judges, the diners and Spike! Yech.

Time for the judges table and the Glad not-so-glad room. Richard is whining. Why you not so bad now, Dude?

And the Fire team is called in and congratulated. They are so happy. I’m glad Lisa won this big prize since she really fought for this. Dale is bitter but man enough to admit it.

Now Earth and Water are called in for the bad news. Richard is in TROUBLE! Mark and Andrew are just there. The Earth team is called on the carpet for their dish being bland. Zoi is fighting for her herbs and Spike is still bringing up his missed soup.

Back to the Not So Glad Room and the big fight. Jen is bigging up Zoi telling her she’s an amazing chef. Is love blind? Richard is whining and Spike is mad at himself.

Back to the judges and it’s the end for Zoi. I saw it coming.
The Not So Glad Room is a mess. Jen is in tears. There is hell to pay and even with the show over the arguing continues. What tha-! Spike jumps on Antonia and Jen loses it, then Dale says something, Lisa jumps in and Dale tells her off because he’s pissed about not going to Italy. Spike goes too far with Jen and she kick a chair. Yikes! It’s Top Chef guys. Chill out and cook something.

Buh-bye Zoi. Thanks for the memories.

Best,
Kwana

What’s Jack up to? He’s just being Jack. Lately he’s been hiding out in the hall closet with the shoes and boots. I keep forgetting and closing the door on him all the way. Sorry, Jack.

It was quite a shocker on America’s Next Top Model last night, but first off what is up with Lauren and the crazy outbursts? That girl is needing a muzzle.

I have to give props this week to Stacy Ann for being smart with the good Sprint shout out and getting premium camera time and good for her winning the challenge. Go Stacy Anne! I also have to say I wasn’t in love with the photos this week and in a true shocker, well, not so much. Claire was ousted. I thought it would have been and should have been Lauren. Oh well.

Buh-Bye Claire. No more CoverGirl of the week for you.

Now for Top Chef. Hooray!!!

This week’s quickfire was with guest Daniel Boulud and was all about technique and making a beautiful vegetable plate. Uh-oh all you butter fingers and as for you Richard and Ryan (who I suspect was fired) Daniel said his past experiences with them would not effect him. We’ll see…

Sidebar: How many hats did Spike bring? Does he secretly have something going on with Ricky from Project Runway?

Quickfire judging Dale was impressive and scary too.
Richard’s a suck up. Surprise. Wipe your nose.
Spike was nice, despite the hat Hmm….

The winner is….. Scary Dale with the manic eyes and full zipper velour jogging jacket. Yay! He’ll be around another week.

Now the elimination challenge. A dinner inspired by your favorite movie. Sounds like a fun dress- party. Wouldn’t it be great to do that with Pride and Prejudice, or Rocky Horror or Mahogany all could have good food and fun clothes. What movie would you choose?

Richard, Dale and Andrew are doing Willy Wonka. Andrew no acting, please. This is not Mars 2112. Just stop. Tom will not stand for it. Back in the kitchen Richard’s smoker breaks. I’m so happy. I’m mean, right?

Judges Verdict- Impressive

Did Spike Say Good Morning Vietnam? What? Not a favorite movie of mine and you can’t really dress to it, but make it good Manuel, please don’t pull out an accent or I may have to smack you.

Verdict- Judges not impressed.

Jen and Nikki- Il Postino- Good Choice but Nikki need to chill with the Italian. The judges are going to get tired of her with that.

Verdict- Tom “Good not great.” I think they’ll they’ll take that.

Zoi and Antonia- Talk to Her good too. Spanish film. good stuff to work with.

Verdict- Daniel not happy. Uh-oh, Zoi.

Mark and Ryan to ding bats with no knowledge of cinema decided on the Christmas story. Hmm…

Verdict-Hey Ted liked it. Why am I surprised? Ryan just does not impress me.

Lisa and Stephanie get the 6th course and decide to do beef? Who wants beef for a 6th course? Who? Unless it’s a 6 am after the club course. Although I’ll agree that Top Secret is a super Funny movie and probably Val Kilmer’s best. At least they added apples so it’s not all savory.

Verdict-Daniel- Yum.

The winners are announced and there are man hugs all around even with the women. The final winner is…Fauxhawk Richard. Man! And even without a smoker. Nobodies happy. Ugh!

Losers walk on in. Spike has on another fedora! Mustard yellow. Ugh again! Manuel you are with a fedora wearing mess. Get a backbone, man.
Antonia and Zoi look like they want to cry. Zoi is whining too much in the Gladroom. I’m afraid she may go. Tick Tock….

Commercial over. Wow! I was fooled again. Zoi is safe despite the whining. Fedora is in and Manuel is out. Buh-Bye, Manuel.

It was fun.

Best,
Kwana