So I just watched the watched what happens special this morning because I was all thrown off with my times last night and watched Top Model. I have to say. This is the way to watch Top Chef!

Well Bravo did a nice job trying to sell us on the magical trickery of Hosea. Um, I didn’t fall for it, but nice try.

Love the Team Europe Bromance clip. Now I want an I heart Fabio tee- shirt.

Oh and then the tension of the Hosea and Leah romance. And Hosea tries to blame it on the Alcohol. Just like the Jamie Foxx song. Way to man up, Hosea.

Now On to lighter things. Who knew about all the craziness going on in the Not So Glad room? I guess they found a way to make it pretty glad. Beds, volleyball net, booze.
The Stefan clip just cracked me up. Laugh out loud funny.
The homage to Tom and all the bald men. Loved it too.

Now the Fan favorite is… Fabio. Ok I’m fine with it, I guess. If my Carla couldn’t win then I’m glad it’s Fabio. He was the funniest. Can’t wait for the Fabio show!

I sure hope Carla gets a show sometime. I’m not ready to let her go yet. We can all practice a little of The Carla Way in our lives. That should be the name of her show. Are you listening Bravo producers?

I’m going to miss Top Chef.

Love this wild show.

Scroll down for fun Jack pics in his cool new booties!

Best,
Kwana

Top Chef comes on and the midnight lovers, Leah and Hosea are feeling remorseful in the light of day.

The leftover chefs head to the kitchen and the Quaker Oats quickfire challenge. I sure miss the old days without so much product placement. I am so tired of seeing the name of those darn stoves. There is no immunity for this challenge and on the bottom of the batch were Leah, Fabio and Jeff. Tops were Carla, Jamie and Stefan. The winner is Stefan.

They go in the NSG room and see numbers on chef’s jackets. From this they just know it’s a football challenge. How? I don’t know.

Elimination challenge is Top Chef Bowl against past season’s losers. The only ones that are moderately interesting are Andrew and Fedora Spike. Hi Andrew!

Stefan gets to decide who he’s going against and he chooses Andrea. Who? I know that’s what I said.

The rest are divided up and challenged to cook head to head. Any chef who loses their head to head will be up for elimination. I like kinda this challenge.

Jeff vs. Josie-Josie wins. She rocked it.
Carla vs. Andrew-crazy vs crazy Carla’s crazy wins.
Stefan vs. Andrea- Stefan is in love. She plays him and wins. Hosea could not be happier.
Hosea vs. Miguel-Hosea
Leah vs. Nikki- Leah wins.
Jamie vs. Camille- Once again who? The winner is Jamie
Fabio vs. Fedora Spike- both are talking trash. It’s good. Spike wins. But barely. I’m confused with Fabio talking. Why is he making me think he won?

All in all season 5 takes it.
At the judges table the winners are called in to pick the big winner and it’s Carla! And she wins 2 tickets to the Superbowl.

In the bottom are Stefan, Fabio and Jeff. I’m loving listening to Fabio explain his overcooked meat. It could go for an hour. But going home is… Jeff. Why am I not surprised?

Are you?

Best,

Kwana

What’s Jack up to? Jack is being a mischievous super dog. Making amazing leaps to counters three times his height in order to knock over plates filled with yummy leftover curried chicken salad sandwiches and ham and brie. Oh Jack, wen will you mellow out?

As for Top Chef I’ll be short and sweet. Did you watch? It was Green Acre’s all the way. Darling I love you but give me the city life.

I was happy to see Hung. I’m into nostalgia. Stefan grabbed immunity with SPAM and the Hung is gone way too fast without any drama. Then Stefan and Jamie fight like an old married couple on the way to divorce court over their menu. Then Hosea is nervous and it’s a mess on his team. Cut to whining from Ariane and they are off to Dan Barber’s restaurant and farm in the country where they will pick their food to cook. Ha jokes on them.

Stefan makes a funny that I know David Dust will not disappoint me on with his recap later. He will either A. Completely ignore the obviousness of the hen house or B. annihilate Stefan. Either way it will be hilarious.

Sidebar: It’s so annoying the way they throw these little clips in between the commercials. Not cute Bravo.

Chefs are in the kitchen. Fabio is annoyed and Tom is surveying. He’s not letting the new guy steal ALL his thunder.

Up first is Team Lamb-Hosea, Ariane, Leah- lamb poorly dressed, not done well. Bad dessert. Oh my.
Team Pork- Jeff, Fabio, Radhika- ravioli bad, pork should have been on the bone. dessert off
Team Chicken- Jamie, Carla, Stefan- Soup, no need. Good chicken. Carla rocked the dessert. That’s my crazy like a fox Carla.

Judges table. The tops are Jamie, Carla and Stefan. Team Chicken. And the winner is … All of them. What is that? Top Chef is going soft. Ugh! Carla was robbed.

Then the judges ask for everyone else: the Pigs and the Lambs. Team lamb is hilarious with the rolling and the tying. Will they all be sent home since it’s an all for one and one for all night? Nope it was just Ariane. With her poor butchering. Feels like it was Leah’s night to me. I really don’t get this episode.
Buh Bye Ariane.

Best,
Kwana

Top Chef begins and Ariane feels great. Winning is like that.

The rest of the chefs not feeling so great. That’s what losing feels like.

Suddenly the sad economy shows up in a blatant sidekick commercial with Hosea. Subtle.

In the kitchen the quick fire is to make a holiday meal with one pot and the surprise judge is Martha Stewart! Boots start quaking. Martha says, “make it simple but not too simple,” quoting Einstein. Ok Martha.

The chefs get cooking and Ariane and Jamie are now BFF’s tasting each other’s food despite Ariane’s constant wins. How long you gonna keep trusting that, Jamie?
Time for Martha to judge and she’s is judging tough. You can’t tell what she’s thinking as she walks by. She does like Hosea’s paella though and says so. For Jeff and uses the word pungent. Not good. Ariane gets and excellent and Carla a tasty. Fabio just a thank you.
No good were Jeff, Eugene and Fabio. Poor boys. Fabio wants to bust a vein.

Tops are Hosea, Jamie and Ariane. Uh-oh these two again. Jamie is nervous. The winner is Ariane. Again!! Jamie stop letting her taste your food already!!! It’s the kiss of death.

Now the elimination challenge which is catering a party for amFar with 300 guests. In comes the Harlem Gospel Choir good music but totally confusing to the chefs. The chefs draw knives. With numbers and the choir sings The 12 Days of Christmas which is the inspiration for their dishes.
In Whole Foods some of the chefs are panicking over their themes. Poor Fabio with his ladies dancing. No luck of the draw for this guy.

Back in the kitchen the chefs are working harder than ever to get everything done and packing it all in the fridge at the end of the night.

In the morning they all notice that one of the fridges were left open and the food has gone bad. Are you telling me no producer saw that? I’m thinking a twist was needed.

Other chefs pitch in to help Hosea and Radhika who were most effected with prep and they pull food from the sky. It’s the Christmas in July miracle. I’m not buying it.

At the event Natasha Richardson does the intro and Stefan is in love. Service begins.
Stefan’s Chicken pot pie is a hit.
Radhika’s dish does well. Indian spices again. Just embrase who you are already and go with it girl.
Carla is star struck but doesn’t do well.
Eugene is story telling. Blah, blah, blah. It’s a bust.
Fabio has dancing crab cakes and they flops.
Jamie is going with the scallops again. It’s bad. One man says slimy and Michelle Bernstein who is also judging is not happy with anything and boy is she vocal. A real little Miss Sunshine I tell ya.

Melissa ,another loser. Leah not a winner either.
Ariane- deviled eggs. A classic. Tom is not impressed. Me neither. Natasha likes them. Tom shrugs.
Hosea a winner with his pork.
Jeff’s seared cheese a winner. How do you do that to cheese? I’d burn it.

Back at the judges table the tops are:
Radhika, Hosea, Jeff and Stefan. Looks like a tragedy turned into a triumph for Radhika and Hosea. Thanks Father Christmas in July.
The winner is Hosea.

Now for the bottom chefs: Eugene, Melissa and Jamie. Aww poor Jamie.
First they jump on Jamie about the temperature of her scallops.
Next is Melissa and the mouthful of cheese she made.
Now Eugene and poor seasoning. Eugene is standing by his dish. Uh-oh Eugene. You are not gonna win this fight.
The judges deliberate and they are not happy with most of the chefs. Tom is upset and wants to talk with them all about stepping up their games. I have a feeling Ariane’s wonderful Deviled eggs did him in.

Tom walks into The Not So Glad room and reads them the riot act. I was right. The Deviled egg come up!

The shocker to me is no one goes home tonight. He calls it a holiday gift. Yeah right. In July.

Best,

Kwana