Hanging Your Hat
What’s Jack up to? Right now he’s chillin’ perched high on the couch where he can watch the coming and goings of the block. There’s no getting anything past Jack.
TOP CHEFERY
ANTM is over and so is Survivor but thank goodness I still have Top Chef.
The show opens with the women excited about 3 women in the final four. I’ll be excited if Lisa is not one of them. Is that mean? Well, I’m still bitter so I don’t care.
The Quickfire challenge is top butchery. Spike was the man with the dry aged long bone in rib eye or at least that’s what he thinks.
Padma and a guy named Rick Tramonto are waiting at the Top Chef kitchen and they have to prepare their steak for Rick. He likes his meat medium rare. OK. I’d never know what to do with than bit of info.Richard made me laugh when he said he liked playing with a lots of meat things. Suddenly I was 12 years old. Tee hee.
Loved Antonia with all her butter. She was a second Paula Deen. My kind of girl.
Bottoms were: Stephanie, Richard
Tops were: Lisa (UGH!) Spike and Antonia
Winner was: Spike. He knows his way around a meat market. Why am I not surprised?
Elimination challenge is they are taking over Ricks Steak house for the night. Uh-oh. Feel’s very Hell’s Kitchen to me. It could be a problem.
All the chefs have 3hours to make an appetizer and a main dish.
Spike got first dibs as the quickfire winner.The chefs are making:
Spike- scallops and Tomahawk chops. Everyone is giving him crap about his frozen scallops. Even Tom. Ha! Every time he tries to screw over the other it always backfires. He’ll never learn.
Antonia- warm mushroom with artichokes and rib eye
Stephanie –veal sweetbreads appetizer and beef tenderloin. Folks are going nuts over her. I smell victory.
Richard-Crispy sweetbreads appetizer was good. Prime Beef tenderloin. I love how he’s thinking of his wife home working hard. That’s sweet.
Antonia-mushroom and artichoke salad.
Lisa- Grilled shrimp and NY strip with spicy apple and peanut butter. Tom pulled a face on her with that one. Not 3 minutes into things was Lisa already talking sabotage. Is she serious with that crap?Tom is the expediter in the kitchen, meaning he’s the head guy in charge overseeing everything. So they had better not mess up in the kitchen.
Judges love Stephanie’s entrée. Surprise. Surprise.Sidebar: The survey this week was which chef was sent home too early. Andrew, Jen or Dale. Of course Dale won. I know this poll went up because the Bravo message boards probably went wild when Dale was booted last week. Hence the poll this week. They know a screw up when they see it. I see a whole new show here. The battle of the prematurely eliminated. Two easy picks off the top of my head: Dale and Tre. Who would you add?
The VIP’s arrive and it’s Hung, Howard and Ilan, all past winners. Hung look hyped on, well, I don’t want to know what. Let’s just say life, shall we?
Tom ran a smooth kitchen. No, not Hell’s Kitchen there.
Back in the NSG room and the chefs are ready to hit the sauce, but Padma calls them all in before the drinking game can begin.
First up is Richard. They like the appetizer want more sweetbreads. Entrée was nice.
Stephanie They like all around. She is the shizzle! She did sweetbreads too. Note to self: try sweetbreads.
Lisa was a problem with the app and the entrée
Antonia The like-ee
Spike they like his meat, but not his scallops. The judges tell him he should have never picked the frozen scallops. The Spike the big dummy tells Rick; well he should have never had them in his restaurant’s cooler. Oh, no he didn’t! Crazy!! I can already hear it. “Spike, pack your fedora and go.”
In the NSG room he realizes he was an idiot for it. Um, yeah.
Back to the judges it’s down to Lisa and Spike to go home who will it be?
First the winner. No surprise there its Stephanie. Woo hoo!
Richard and Antonia also go to Puerto Rico.Now back to Lisa and Spike. I so wish it was down to these two last week. But the loser this week is…Spike. UGH!
I’m even sad to see Fedora Spike go over Lisa and you know how I feel about him. When will it be ding-dong the witch is dead? Next week off to Puerto Rico and if my eyes don’t deceive me, I think she washes and cuts her hair. Hmm worth tuning in.
Best,
Kwana
Top… What tha-?
What’s Jack up to? As I’m writing this at 11:30 he’s snuggled in his bed after a day of being ‘Just Jack’. You know. Getting into all shorts of scraps and general mischief. It’s tiring.
Now for … Top ChefOK, I’m going to try and get though my notes and do the recap as I intended and not let my bias of the ending get to me, here goes. If you didn’t watch don’t read any further. Click off and go catch a repeat show tonight if you don’t want to know the outcome. You’ve been warned.
Now…
The show opens with the chefs being awakened by Tom Colicchio at 5:45 am for the quickfire where they have to go to a famous Chicago restaurant, Lou Mitchel’s and work the egg station. Sounds hardcore. The top station workers are Dale and Antonia and Antonia is deemed the winner. This is her fourth win. Bummer for my Dale.Then Tom tells the chefs he’s going out of town and won’t be there for the elimination challenge. What? No Tom? Say it ain’t so.
They meet Padma at a not so secret location for the challenge and she tells them that Restaurant Wars is back on! The Chefs are way too happy. I don’t get it. I can’t stand all this team stuff which is why I fly solo. Hmm, that may have come out wrong.
Since Antonia won she gets to choose her team. She quickly snatches up Stephanie and Richard which leaves Dale, Lisa and Spike on the other team.
It’s suddenly Wedding Wars part Deux! I smell trouble cooking.The teams are off to Whole foods and I notice how bad everyone’s hair is. Why is Richard now wearing a this bra-band in his hair? Strange.
Antonia’s team, Warehouse, is all butterflies and light and I think there are doves flying around them putting ingredients into their baskets. While on Dale’s team the gods are turning on them from the start with Spike stirring the cauldron and I swear there are trolls stealing the rice they want right out of the store!
Then onto Pier 1 and Stephanie is doing decor for the Warehouse restaurant and Spike is shopping for Mai Buddha. I guess he’s the one for his great way with accessories?
The horror continues in the kitchen when in place of Tom, Anthony Bourdain comes in and gets Dale’s Team, Mai Buddha sweating even more sine he knows Asian food better than anyone. Uh-oh.Back to work. And reinforcements are brought in. It’s Mark, Andrew, Jen and Nikki and the teams can each pick one. Antonia Picks Nikki to make some pasta and Dale picks Jen.
Poor Mark and Andrew. I don’t think Andrew even speaks. He just glares at Lisa. I understand, sweetie. Those wounds run deep.
The fights continue with Dale and Lisa. He tells her some of her food is no good. She can’t fix it. Spike mentions how he can’t be blamed. He should be kicked out for that comment alone.
It’s still beauty and light on the Warehouse side. I think I see elves working over there now along with singing mice. Just great.
Times up. Its service time. Stephanie has changed into her swanky black dress and Nancy Sinatra boots and Spikes taken off his fedora for the occasion. The kitchens are hot and Dale is hotter. It’s a mess.
Down to the food. No need to go crazy. Warehouse is better. No fighting. Elves and fairies cooking the food and it shows.
They win and Stephanie is the ultimate winner. Good for her. She’s the tops.
Now the losers are called out of the Not So Glad Room and Spike is the ultimate in jerkyness. I just can’t stand him. he should be on a daytime soap for being such a villain.
Lisa is just a nightmare. There is not a thing about her I like. She can’t cook. Has he won a challenge at all? She never steps up to the plate, but of course, not of it is her fault. Nev-ah!
Now to Dale. His food wasn’t good. The judges said so, but he also had no help. I just wish he could have cooked on his own.
UGH!
Back in the NSG room. Spike and Lisa talk behind Dale’s back and he calls them out. Go Dale!
Uh-Oh! Back for the judging. Spike is in. Crap. Down to Lisa and Dale. Please let it be Lisa… Please let it be Lisa… It’s…. OMG. DALE!!!!They have got to be kidding me with this! I can’t believe it. How can both Spike and Lisa still be here and Dale gone. I can’t take it. He’s won more quickfire’s and challenges than either of them and he’s out. It’s not right. This day went from bad to just way bad-er!
I’m so over Top Chef… at least for now. Love ya Dale.
On another note congrats to David Cook for winning Idol and making a fool of Simon. I do love that!
Come on back tomorrow for Ask the Agent. Tell a friend!
Best,
KwanaShe’s the Tops! and He’s out!
What’s Jack up to? As I’m writing this he’s down in the basement giving me a break and being company to the DH who’s been working was too hard lately. I’ve been seeing way too much of his back.
America’s Next Top Model Finale Time
It’s Finale night for ANTM and it’s down to Fatima, Anya and Whitney. Tonight the girls shoot their Covergirl print ad and commercial and Anya is all verklempt about it. Ahh, so sweet.
Fatima was first and she was beautiful, but a little robotic. Whitney was clearly nervous, no beauty queen fakeness tonight. Anya was cute and giggly and uses her nerves well. Fatima was going on about how she’s so much more relate-able to others than the other girls. Huh? Well, OK, um, if you say so.Already they are judging. Man this is a quick episode.
Whitney’s commercial was just, Eh. Her photo was also just ok for me, I was not all that crazy for it. What’s with the black and white?
Fatima’s commercial was no winner either and her photo was pretty and I actually like it better than Whitney’s but the photo is better to me and the judges hate it. Go figure.
Anya’s commercial was a mess with her voice but the cutest to me. Her photo was nice but didn’t showcase her. Paulina thought she looked stupid. Ouch. Who took these photos? Not your cute Covergirl shots if you ask me. Did ya? No. Sorry.What did you say Tyra? A Donatella Vercace show!!! Hold the phone!!!
Commercial break and it was Selisha’s final my life as a covergirl. Buh-Bye- I have to say her’s were forget-able. Give me cha-cha Jaslene over her any day.
Decision time and the final 2 are… Anya and…Whitney!! Wow! Would it be that a plus size model could be the winner of America’s next top model? Is Top Model tired of playing with this?The Runway show is lots of fun and I love the male models in the very tiny Speedos. Anya is beautiful and Whitney has plenty of attitude. What a short show with only 2 looks for the girls to work out. Oh well. Once again I feel so used. It seems to be the season and just that quick they rush them into the judging room not even changing poor Whitney’s dress.Things look good for Whitney’s walk since Tyra says she reminds her of herself.Always a good sign.
Then its comparing photos and they go back and forth. “She’s pretty-no she’s prettier.” It looks like Anya wins here.So who’s the real winner? It’s…WHITNEY!!!! Holy Smokes. It’s finally happened. Paulina said it this should not be called Plus sized this should just be called BEAUTIFUL.
Sidebar: Syesha is out on America Idol. I don’t think she ever got a fair shake. I’m not happy with it but I didn’t really watch this season. Let’s hope she does half as good a Jennifer Hudson.
Now onto Top Chef to top it all off.The show opens with the chefs are still tired and Spike is still mad at Dale and Dale like ‘whatever’ and Andrew is still Nuts.And guess who’s here? Cutie Sam Talbot!!! And another excuse to pull out the photo of me and Sam. Sorry, deal with it!
The chefs have to make a sexy salad in honor of sexy Sam and they have 45 minutes. It had better be fabulous.
I love that Antonia loves a fatty salad!
Having the extra time was too much for Stephanie and she didn’t finish plating her dish. Uh-oh.
Lisa’s dish was no good. Stephanie’s was bad and Richard’s was a no-no.Sam liked Spike, Antonia and the fat and Dale. Spike is the winner. Boo!! Hiss!!The elimination challenge is gourmet boxed lunches for the Chicago PD that are healthy too in honor of Sam who is diabetic. Aww.
As the winner Spike gets to pick his protein, vegetable, fruit and whole grain first and then the other chefs can’t use what he picks so he picked chicken, tomatoes and bread to mess up the other chefs royally.
Andrew is extra crazy this episode and making Stephanie smell his ‘success’ in Whole Foods. Back off! Every girl does not want to smell your ‘success’. Nasty!Here’s the rundown:
Antonia is making curry beef and jasmine rice.
Andrew a Sushi bowl? For police officers?
Dale is doing cabbage cups with bison and Antonia is convinced he is a one trick pony.
Lisa is doing brown rice with Shrimp and stuff. Tom thinks it’s too spicy.
Stephanie is making a mushroom leek soup.
Spike is doing evil chicken salad.
Fauxhawk Richard is doing lentil burritos.Suddenly Lisa realizes somebody raises the burner on her rice and she is MAD! She’s crying sabotage. Time is running out and its chaos all of a sudden. Lions, Tigers and Bison, Oh my!Now the chefs are the Chicago police department and being a cagey about passing their food out.
Stephanie’s soup goes over well.
Spike’s salad is pedestrian.
Dale’s bison is nice and flavorful
Antonia’s beef is well cooked and delicious
Andrew’s sushi is a manic as he is.
Richard’s burrito is tasty and not an annoying as his catchphrase of “tell me do you like burrito?” Sounds like a bad pickup like to me. Always answer no.Lisa’s stir-fry is spicy and the rice is undercooked.Back in the Not So Glad Room Padma calls Dale and Stephanie. I’m happy. They are the top 2. I just love Dale’s green headband. Makes me want to run and get some shell top Adidas. The winner this week is …Dale!!! Yay! In your face Lisa and Spike. He gets wine and to visit Napa. I wonder will Dale be there when I am in July? Hmmm…. Dinner with Dale. How intense would that be?The losers are are Lisa, Spike and Andrew. Let’s get ready to Rumble.
Andrew is fighting for his sushi and drops the F bomb.
Spike looks hot and sweaty in this week’s hat. The judges call him on his ingredient pick which is great. They saw right through him. Then he got all tippy with Tom. You just don’t do that. Double smack.
Lisa is all, “whatever dude.” Then crying sabotage again. Pla-ease. Nobody believes that mess. The shrimp were bad too. Then she adds out of the blue that Andrew didn’t use a whole grain. Threw him WAY under the bus. WAY UNDER!!!The Not So Glad Room in mad as hell. Andrew is making even Antonia scared. She needs to move her butt over and away from Lisa. I wouldn’t sit next to her with Andrew making the crazy eyes.They are all called back and the chef going home is… Andrew. UGH! He’s cute and says that no security is necessary as he leaves. Classy. So Andrew. I’ll miss him. I’m so mad it wasn’t Lisa. SO MAD! UGH!
Best,KwanaReality Round Up- Wedding Woes
So it’s Wednesday night and America’s Next Top Model time.
The girls are hatin’ on Dominique and Dominique is being delusional calling herself the Seleisha of this competition. What?! One thing’s for sure, Anya’s been rocking. And now it’s down to Anya, Dominique, Whitney and Fatima.
The first challenge has the girls photographing each other which was interesting then they got to photo graph Paulina, a judge. Better had not make her look bad! Fatima did a good job and was string. Dominique faltered and had Paulina running. Whitney was professional and in awe. Anya and all with her “vision” and tossing petals. It may work or not.
The winner was Fatima. She was thrilled to finally win a challenge. I think this was a good one for the girls. I have a feeling they are setting Fatima up to get to the finals.
Now to the photo shoot and it’s night glamour with Nigel and he’s not happy with anyone. Anya didn’t get it. Fatima was a mess. Whitney was posing and Dominique was staging. It was all a ‘hot tranny mess’.
We’ll see what happens in panel.
Anya gets a good review. Whitney gets a so-so. Too posy.
Dominique gets a real ‘hot tranny mess’ review and they tell her she looks like transvestite. Poor thing. Fatima has a sweet shot but it’s just sweet.The girl going home this week is… Dominique. Guess what? I wrote line this even before Tyra called her name.
Next Up is Top Hot Mess! and the Wedding wars.Top Chef starts with Spike and Andrew crying over Mark. Waaa!
Quick-fire and no special guest. Just Tom and Padma and the winner of the quick-fire no longer gets immunity. Eek. It’s a fork spoon team thing and their racing to make mayo, cleaning monkfish fish, slicing oranges and doing something I don’t understand with Artichokes.
Dale, Lisa, Nikki and Spike are one team and Richard, Andrew, Stephanie and Antonia are on the other. Dale cheers Antonia like he’s in the hood. Yelling “Strong Island” It doesn’t work. He punches the locker.
Antonia says he needs his diaper changed. Perfect.Now for the challenge. Wedding wars. They are catering a wedding and the chefs are not happy. 125 guests each. The bride and groom run their own restaurant. Uh-oh. One team gets the bride and other gets the groom.
Groom’s team is Dale, Nikki, Spike and Lisa they get Italian and Nikki gets happy. Dale is not feeling her. Lisa is ready to fall in line with Nikki. I’m with dale. Why trust Nikki?Bride team, Richard, Andrew, Antonia, Stephanie get. Southern and Fried comfort food. Stephanie is already giving Andrew the smack-downs.
The chefs even have to decorate and Richard admits to wearing pink shoes. Why? I don’t even wear pink shoes. That’s just wrong.
Grooms side doing a bunch of stiff but what really worries me is that Nikki is making pasta again. Uh-oh.
Bride’s side: they are also making a bunch of stuff that sounds just yummy. No time to get into it thouygh. Sorry.
I’m loving Dale tonight. He’s on his meats (shut up) and just moving. Fast and furious but it’s getting on the other chef’s nerves. They don’t like his quality.
Uh oh . It’s getting late and Richard’s getting on Andrew’s nerves.
Nikki is mulling over the pasta and checking on Dale. She better worry about that pasta.
Dale is chugging the Red Bull. Antonia had the crazy eyes.Tom walks in looking like sunshine in the morning and the chefs look that hell. They can’t even remember what they are doing.
The wedding is on. Tom thinks the groom’s cake is fugly. It is. But tastes good. The chefs are a mess and Dale is still cooking is behind off and the other chefs are hating him for it. Nikki throws his under the bus while she’s serving the judges. I can’t stand her!
In the judging room: Brides team wins and I knew and Richard is sweet gives is win to Stephanie for her cake. Aww. She shares. Aww. Move on to the smack down!Now for the losers.
Spike tilts his fedora and spits fire at Dale. FIRE! Name calling and all. Nikki steps back and takes no responsibility for the all Italian menu. NONE. Hate her! Dale takes ALL responsibility.
Glad room is anything but. The Glad people do not want their products shown!Judges deliberate and…Nikki is out!!! Yes!!
photo from Blogging Top Chef. Too funny check them out.Best,
KwanaPS- Keep reading for the Arte Y Pico Awards!
Top It Off!
What’s Jack Up to? He’s off to bed. Enough running for one day.It was a fun and light America’s Next Top Model without the downer Lauren there, although Fatima tried to take up the slack with her, “I’m so great attitude.” I spent most of the show thinking, she is outta here! Sigh.I was happy that Whitney won the challenge after the judges were so down on her “fakeness” last week. But I saw a vulnerability in her this week that I liked. Oh and it was Tyra as a photographer week. Yay! More Tyra and Jay screen time.On a truly annoying note: What’s with the previews for Farmer Wants A Wife? Did we not learn anything from Joe Millionaire? Yech!Ok back to Top Model and the judging and Trya totally overacting with bad accents. Now wonder she gets Whitney’s over the top-ness. But I think she may be out today. The plus size girl has gone as far as she’s going to go in the competition. Will a plus size girl ever when this thing? I don’t think so. It will go off the air first. It’s never a fair fight.Votes are in:Fatima is 1st -ugh.Dominique is 2nd- good for her because the judges were just so mean ragging on her sad outfit.Anya is 3rdIt’s down to Katarzyna and Whitney- Uh -oh- the girls who stays is….. Shocker!!! Whitney!!I am so eating my words. I think Whitney has no gone further than any plus size girl on Top Model. Go Whitney!Buh-Bye Kat! What a beautiful girl. She’ll be just fine.
Now onto Top Chef!!! Chef-nasty!The chefs wake up mad as hell and ready to take the prize. Bring it on!The guest judge is Lady’s Oprah’s personals Chef, Art Smith. You all know I love all things Oprah. So I love art Smith! And the quickfire is all about timing and making a perfect entree in 15 minutes and it’s an uncle Ben’s commercial. Go Bravo and place those products!I love that Art went around and told the chefs what he was thinking and wasn’t like the rest of the sourpuss guest chefs that come on. All except mark and Andrew Hmmm….And the winner was Antonia with her rice salad. Go figure.Now the elimination challenge is a charity thing for arts organization Common Thread (how very Oprah) of him. They have to do dinner for 4 with only 10.00. 10.00!! Not in the recession baby. Write to the president. Yech.Why are the boys always running into the Whole Foods? Running? I don’t get it. With 10.00 you’re not going to buy out the chicken counter.Dale is doing turkey bratwurst and cabbage.Stephanie-chicken and couscous and peanut butter and tomatoes.-judges don’t like.Andrew-chicken pillardAntonia-stir fry pasta which she makes for her daughter and she shared a sweet phone call with her daughter to get the awww factor going. It worked.Mark-Vegetable curryLisa-Chicken Edamame and black beansSpike-pasta puttanescaRichard-Roast Chicken with beets and applesNikki-Another Roasted Chicken and veggies. I’m now clucking.Then it’s back to the kitchen and surprise a bunch of kids from Art’s program come into be assistant chefs. Happily it was not like the Project Runway challenge and there wasn’t and big time diva’s but Spike did get his kid bleeding right out of the gate.Tom’s going around now and how sweet is he with the kids. Awww. Love my Tom. He’s so unpredictable. Now to look at him you’d think he’ kick a small kid now be so sweet.Judging is on and Mark is complaining about Tom being in the kitchen. What a Diva!The judges like: Nikki and Antonia. Wow?!The judges don’t likie:Lisa, Stephanie and Mark- Uh Stephanie. say it ain’t so. Stephanie in the bottom again? I just can’t call this show.And ugh! Someone wipe the visual from my mind. Richard want to go home and make some baby blazes. Did I need to hear that? Is he going to bed with that fauxhawk? Not a turn on.
Now to the No So Glad Room. They want Andrew, Nikki, and Antonia. Silence. Time to switch it up.The winner turns out to be Antonia who did it for her daughter. Clear transfer of energy.And for the bottoms three. Lisa, Stephanie and Mark.Stephanie said her couscous was bad. mark said that Tom doesn’t like him. What? Tom’s not thinking about you babe! Lisa is mad and says she enjoyed her dish. She doesn’t know why she’s there.I think she should be kicked out for the eyebrow piercing. It’s worse than the fauxhawk to me. Sorry if I’m offending any piercers here, my cousins included, but they already know how I feel since I’ve told then to their face.The judges are deliberating and it’s rough. The Glad room is Sad and Stephanie is nervous. me too.But it Mark that has to pack his knives and go. Tom let him know that he doesn’t dislike him and they can share a beer. Yeah, like THAT will be happening. Right.
Best,KwanaWe Have A Winner!
What’s Jack up to? He’s relaxing on this Sunday after watching the DH and I (mostly the DH) work in the front yard all afternoon yesterday. Now today it’s rainy and perfect for lounging around.
Thanks to all who left a comment and entered Liza Palmer’s Seeing Me Naked contest. I had the lovely DH pick a winner out of a hat and the winner is:
Brown Girl Gumbo!!!Who also has the coolest blog check it out when you have some time.
Brown Girl please send me an email with all your info and we’ll get your book to you. Congrats.
In honor of Liza, Seeing Me Naked and Top Chefs everywhere here’s a final goodbye to faux-hawk Jen. She’s no longer doing it for Zoi. Oh and check out her super cool Casio watch. Perfect for timing dishes.
Best,
KwanaTop Shock Me- Why Don’t cha!
What’s Jack up to? He’s Happy to have Nana up today. She’s giving him unlimited treats. Talk about spoiled.
First let’s talk America’s Next Top Model
The top model girls land in Rome and Anya’s first step is a face plant out of the van! Poor thing.
Thank goodness the first Tyra mil is read by Whitney alone and not all of them together. Fatima is sick and crying and I’m not feeling anything but wondering where is Mr. Jay and is he really fighting with Tyra and will he be back for another season? Will she? Other reports say it’s totally untrue though.
Are we supposed to be stupid with these “random” women that they are pointing out? Of course they are not random, but models they placed. Did anyone think they were random? Ugh. I’m getting so annoyed by this show.
They had another challenge and what happens? Anya wins again. That girl with the squeaky voice is taking over the world.
Then it’s a Cover Girl commercial in Italian and it’s a full on disaster for most of the girls. And Lauren has to go. What a HOT TRANNY MESS! We’ll see what happens in judging.
We’re in Judging and the bottom two are Whitney and Lauren. Whitney is criticized for being phony but Tyra is still behind her. Come on and just send Thumbelina home….
The verdict is in and it’s…. Lauren. At least they made the right choice.
Now it’s time for the show stopper Top Chef!
The show opens and once again Jen is talking about doing it for Zoi. Ugh. Why do I want her to go home already?
The quick fire is a dessert challenge and the judge is Johnny Izinnu (no, I can’t spell his name). I can tell there are some scared chefs. If you don’t know a dessert then you’re done for. Silly Lisa actually said she swore she wouldn’t do a dessert during this show. What? Has she ever watched the show? Never say Never. Now I want her to go home. I loved that Dale said he had 1 dessert up his sleeve and he was breaking it out! But the winner was… Richard. Ugh. He gets in the Top Chef cookbook.
Now they are going out to Second City for a night on the town and some comedy. But wait it quickly turns bad and it’s the really scary elimination challenge based on horrible improve.
Dale and Richard-green perplexed tofu- They are talking curry and other cool stuff with free beef fat what sure has me
Lisa and Antonia- Magenta drunk polish sausage and Lisa is mad. They are doing something with tequila
Jen and Stephanie- Orange turned on asparagus
Marc and Nikki- Purple depressed bacon
Spike and Andrew- are Yellow Vanilla Love and when they left whole food I wasn’t sure what they were making. Something with squash soup and love without a blender. Because now there’s no electrical equipment. Twister.The guests arrive at the chef house and Spike and Andrew are first up with vanilla love squash soup and everyone is really loving it.
Jen is obviously missing Zoi a lot because first she’s talking threesomes she and Stephanie and doing a whole skit that’s a little, um, icky and so is the dish.
Dale and Richard came out with their perplexed food and the judges weren’t perplexed. They liked it.
Antonia and Lisa and their drunken sausage fell flat. They seem to hate their suggestion and it showed in their presentation.
Mark and Nikki come out with purple depressed bacon and it’s good, proving once again that all things are better with bacon.Now for the top chefs. They are Dale and Richard and Spike and Andrew. What?
The winning team is dale and Richard and they each get 2500.00 work of Caphelon. These guys are now rockin’.Bottom two are Antonia and Lisa and Stephanie and Jen.
Not doing Polish sausage was a killer for them and Jen and Stephanie that Goat cheese was the killer for them plus the while crazy phallic thing. Stephanie run from Jen as fast as you can never partner with her again. She misses her girlfriend too much!Now back to the Not So Glad room and the girls are scared as hell. Strangely so am I.
Here goes… And it’s Jen that goes home! Wow! I know I wanted her to go but I can’t believe it’s her before Lisa or Nikki or OMG. Spike!!!!!Oh well. She’s not doing it for Zoi anymore and now and I’m sad.
Best,Kwana
Top Day!
What’s Jack up to? He and I are off to the groomers again today for a touch up, since he gave them a bit of a hard time last week and didn’t let them shave around his mouth. Wish us all luck.
No time for America’s Next Top Model last night, but I DVR’d it so I’ll catch up.
But I did get to watch Top Chef. It wouldn’t be Wednesday without it!
Top chef starts with Spike in his mustard fedora. Good times ahead.
And Jen whining about lost love and Ryan is feeling completely delusional talking about possibly winning. What?!
Dale is apologizing and Lisa not really taking it at all. Oh well, no love lost there.
No onto the Top Chef drunken beer challenge and the chefs have to create a dish that has to go perfectly with beer. All the Lushes say, “Hoo!”
Antonia is talking about dining down. Sounds like the kiss of death to me. Take everything n the TS kitchen seriously girl.Spike has on a black and white fedora.
That guest judge, Koren looks like she’s seen the bottom of a few beers in her life. Not a smile cracked there.
Jen and Lisa were so catty when Dale and Spike were in the bottom and the winner was Jen. Spike then turned catty and was all, “Yay lesbians.” Stop Hatin! But he doesn’t have on a fedora. Could he be running out? Fingers crossed. oh please let it be…The Elimination challenge is a tailgate party. Ugh. I can’t stand the tailgate challenge. I think it may be my least favorite and now Jen has a cause and she doing it for Zoi. Ugh again.
On to Whole Foods to tear the place up. They must hate to see them coming.
Spike- wings
Dale-Pork and he’s being over confidant so I’m worried.
Richard- Annoying
Nikki-sausage and Peppers- are you surprised?
Andrew- Very good sounding shrimp
Stephanie- Pork- Yum.
Jennifer- Is making a bunch of stuff an honor of Zoi.
Lisa- Skirt steak and she actually said, “beating her meat”. What? Now I’m watching Bevis and Butthead.
Antonia is doing a Jerk chicken sandwich.
Ryan is doing a poached pear. Mmmm. Just what I always want when I go to a ball game! What a fool.Now the chefs are back home and drinking and Spike and Marc are the in tub wondering why no one wants to join them. What?! Ewww. But I do love the sexy music.
Back at the field the chefs are showing their true colors. Dale is a fan, Spike is a jerk and Andrew is just silly with getting his helmet stuck on his head. He may have to wear it to judging. And poor Nikki, the ding didn’t leave enough food for the judges. So dumb.
Now into the Not So Glad Room. Funny there is no more Glad in there. Glad is probably thinking their reputation is being ruined by all the bad vibes.
The top three are Stephanie, Antonia and Dale. Even Tom is smiling at them. And the winner is…. Dale!!! Ahh my little Psycho boyfriend. I’m so happy for him. No trip to Italy, but you did get a gas grill? Lisa stop laughing at him. I know you are.Now the losers Nikki and Ryan and Marc. Why am I not surprised? I can’t believe Ryan is strongly defending those pears. Bring in Donald Trump to guest fire him now.
Commercial-commercialWhy are they making me wait?
Finally the loser is announced and its California poached Ryan! Buh-Bye. I guess it’s back to his dad’s sweat shop now.Best,
KwanaEarth, Wind and Fired Up!
What’s Jack up to? He’s exhausted after 4 hours at the groomer today with the other “kids”. The dear went straight to the hall closet after and would not come out. He was so over me. But at least he’s clean and you can see his eyes. Picture to come soon.
America’s Next Top Model was a recap show. I just don’t have time for those. It’s like a long commercial break.
But happily Top Chef was all new.
The show starts out with Jen being so cute and defending her girl who didn’t cut it last week. The we are introduced to Ming Tsai for the quickfire and the blind taste challenge. Antonia is excited. The chefs have to choose the more expensive dish. Stephanie was the worst which is surprising and Antonia rocked and won so she has immunity.Now onto the elimination challenge. It meals on wheels! Wheee! And its another team challenge based on the 4 elements of earth, water, fire and air and doing a starter.
Water team: Richard, Andrew and Mark are poaching fish and way too happy about it. WAY to happy with the high fives and of course Richard is in charge and assuming the role as executive chef on the 1 dish starter. Gag me!
Air is Jen, Nikki and Ryan. They are doing duck and pomegranate. Ryan messes up and uses all the pomegranate. Someone get him off the island.
Earth is Spike (with a herringbone fedora) , Antonia and Zoi who are arguing over soup from the start. Chill babies. Get it together.
Fire is the power team with Dale, Stephanie and Lisa. The tension is hot. Lisa is not happy with Dale or his devilish eggs. I love all of Dale’s snide impersonations of Lisa. Oh Dale you are so dry! Onto Whole Foods and Lisa is mad and now fighting for Asian. Way to fight girl! She wins out. Good for her.
Sidebar: I just noticed that Spike is wearing a crazy hat in the confessional that really does look like a Ricky original and I’m nervous for him.
Sidebar over and folks are coming in hungry. Team water’s poached salmon doesn’t look too good. Scaly? Oh very bad.
Team Fire and some good looking grilled shrimp and the judges are happy, happy, happy!
Team air’s Duck is next and uh-oh I head some complaints.
Team Earth and the beef and more complaints from the judges, the diners and Spike! Yech.Time for the judges table and the Glad not-so-glad room. Richard is whining. Why you not so bad now, Dude?
And the Fire team is called in and congratulated. They are so happy. I’m glad Lisa won this big prize since she really fought for this. Dale is bitter but man enough to admit it.
Now Earth and Water are called in for the bad news. Richard is in TROUBLE! Mark and Andrew are just there. The Earth team is called on the carpet for their dish being bland. Zoi is fighting for her herbs and Spike is still bringing up his missed soup.
Back to the Not So Glad Room and the big fight. Jen is bigging up Zoi telling her she’s an amazing chef. Is love blind? Richard is whining and Spike is mad at himself.
Back to the judges and it’s the end for Zoi. I saw it coming.
The Not So Glad Room is a mess. Jen is in tears. There is hell to pay and even with the show over the arguing continues. What tha-! Spike jumps on Antonia and Jen loses it, then Dale says something, Lisa jumps in and Dale tells her off because he’s pissed about not going to Italy. Spike goes too far with Jen and she kick a chair. Yikes! It’s Top Chef guys. Chill out and cook something.Buh-bye Zoi. Thanks for the memories.
Best,
KwanaTop Fool I am
What’s Jack up to? He’s just being Jack. Lately he’s been hiding out in the hall closet with the shoes and boots. I keep forgetting and closing the door on him all the way. Sorry, Jack.
It was quite a shocker on America’s Next Top Model last night, but first off what is up with Lauren and the crazy outbursts? That girl is needing a muzzle.
I have to give props this week to Stacy Ann for being smart with the good Sprint shout out and getting premium camera time and good for her winning the challenge. Go Stacy Anne! I also have to say I wasn’t in love with the photos this week and in a true shocker, well, not so much. Claire was ousted. I thought it would have been and should have been Lauren. Oh well.
Buh-Bye Claire. No more CoverGirl of the week for you.
Now for Top Chef. Hooray!!!
This week’s quickfire was with guest Daniel Boulud and was all about technique and making a beautiful vegetable plate. Uh-oh all you butter fingers and as for you Richard and Ryan (who I suspect was fired) Daniel said his past experiences with them would not effect him. We’ll see…
Sidebar: How many hats did Spike bring? Does he secretly have something going on with Ricky from Project Runway?Quickfire judging Dale was impressive and scary too.
Richard’s a suck up. Surprise. Wipe your nose.
Spike was nice, despite the hat Hmm….
The winner is….. Scary Dale with the manic eyes and full zipper velour jogging jacket. Yay! He’ll be around another week.Now the elimination challenge. A dinner inspired by your favorite movie. Sounds like a fun dress- party. Wouldn’t it be great to do that with Pride and Prejudice, or Rocky Horror or Mahogany all could have good food and fun clothes. What movie would you choose?
Richard, Dale and Andrew are doing Willy Wonka. Andrew no acting, please. This is not Mars 2112. Just stop. Tom will not stand for it. Back in the kitchen Richard’s smoker breaks. I’m so happy. I’m mean, right?Judges Verdict- Impressive
Did Spike Say Good Morning Vietnam? What? Not a favorite movie of mine and you can’t really dress to it, but make it good Manuel, please don’t pull out an accent or I may have to smack you.Verdict- Judges not impressed.
Jen and Nikki- Il Postino- Good Choice but Nikki need to chill with the Italian. The judges are going to get tired of her with that.
Verdict- Tom “Good not great.” I think they’ll they’ll take that.
Zoi and Antonia- Talk to Her good too. Spanish film. good stuff to work with.Verdict- Daniel not happy. Uh-oh, Zoi.
Mark and Ryan to ding bats with no knowledge of cinema decided on the Christmas story. Hmm…Verdict-Hey Ted liked it. Why am I surprised? Ryan just does not impress me.
Lisa and Stephanie get the 6th course and decide to do beef? Who wants beef for a 6th course? Who? Unless it’s a 6 am after the club course. Although I’ll agree that Top Secret is a super Funny movie and probably Val Kilmer’s best. At least they added apples so it’s not all savory.Verdict-Daniel- Yum.
The winners are announced and there are man hugs all around even with the women. The final winner is…Fauxhawk Richard. Man! And even without a smoker. Nobodies happy. Ugh!
Losers walk on in. Spike has on another fedora! Mustard yellow. Ugh again! Manuel you are with a fedora wearing mess. Get a backbone, man.
Antonia and Zoi look like they want to cry. Zoi is whining too much in the Gladroom. I’m afraid she may go. Tick Tock….
Commercial over. Wow! I was fooled again. Zoi is safe despite the whining. Fedora is in and Manuel is out. Buh-Bye, Manuel.
It was fun.
Best,
Kwana
