What’s Jack up to? Jack is being a mischievous super dog. Making amazing leaps to counters three times his height in order to knock over plates filled with yummy leftover curried chicken salad sandwiches and ham and brie. Oh Jack, wen will you mellow out?

As for Top Chef I’ll be short and sweet. Did you watch? It was Green Acre’s all the way. Darling I love you but give me the city life.

I was happy to see Hung. I’m into nostalgia. Stefan grabbed immunity with SPAM and the Hung is gone way too fast without any drama. Then Stefan and Jamie fight like an old married couple on the way to divorce court over their menu. Then Hosea is nervous and it’s a mess on his team. Cut to whining from Ariane and they are off to Dan Barber’s restaurant and farm in the country where they will pick their food to cook. Ha jokes on them.

Stefan makes a funny that I know David Dust will not disappoint me on with his recap later. He will either A. Completely ignore the obviousness of the hen house or B. annihilate Stefan. Either way it will be hilarious.

Sidebar: It’s so annoying the way they throw these little clips in between the commercials. Not cute Bravo.

Chefs are in the kitchen. Fabio is annoyed and Tom is surveying. He’s not letting the new guy steal ALL his thunder.

Up first is Team Lamb-Hosea, Ariane, Leah- lamb poorly dressed, not done well. Bad dessert. Oh my.
Team Pork- Jeff, Fabio, Radhika- ravioli bad, pork should have been on the bone. dessert off
Team Chicken- Jamie, Carla, Stefan- Soup, no need. Good chicken. Carla rocked the dessert. That’s my crazy like a fox Carla.

Judges table. The tops are Jamie, Carla and Stefan. Team Chicken. And the winner is … All of them. What is that? Top Chef is going soft. Ugh! Carla was robbed.

Then the judges ask for everyone else: the Pigs and the Lambs. Team lamb is hilarious with the rolling and the tying. Will they all be sent home since it’s an all for one and one for all night? Nope it was just Ariane. With her poor butchering. Feels like it was Leah’s night to me. I really don’t get this episode.
Buh Bye Ariane.

Best,
Kwana

Top Chef begins and Ariane feels great. Winning is like that.

The rest of the chefs not feeling so great. That’s what losing feels like.

Suddenly the sad economy shows up in a blatant sidekick commercial with Hosea. Subtle.

In the kitchen the quick fire is to make a holiday meal with one pot and the surprise judge is Martha Stewart! Boots start quaking. Martha says, “make it simple but not too simple,” quoting Einstein. Ok Martha.

The chefs get cooking and Ariane and Jamie are now BFF’s tasting each other’s food despite Ariane’s constant wins. How long you gonna keep trusting that, Jamie?
Time for Martha to judge and she’s is judging tough. You can’t tell what she’s thinking as she walks by. She does like Hosea’s paella though and says so. For Jeff and uses the word pungent. Not good. Ariane gets and excellent and Carla a tasty. Fabio just a thank you.
No good were Jeff, Eugene and Fabio. Poor boys. Fabio wants to bust a vein.

Tops are Hosea, Jamie and Ariane. Uh-oh these two again. Jamie is nervous. The winner is Ariane. Again!! Jamie stop letting her taste your food already!!! It’s the kiss of death.

Now the elimination challenge which is catering a party for amFar with 300 guests. In comes the Harlem Gospel Choir good music but totally confusing to the chefs. The chefs draw knives. With numbers and the choir sings The 12 Days of Christmas which is the inspiration for their dishes.
In Whole Foods some of the chefs are panicking over their themes. Poor Fabio with his ladies dancing. No luck of the draw for this guy.

Back in the kitchen the chefs are working harder than ever to get everything done and packing it all in the fridge at the end of the night.

In the morning they all notice that one of the fridges were left open and the food has gone bad. Are you telling me no producer saw that? I’m thinking a twist was needed.

Other chefs pitch in to help Hosea and Radhika who were most effected with prep and they pull food from the sky. It’s the Christmas in July miracle. I’m not buying it.

At the event Natasha Richardson does the intro and Stefan is in love. Service begins.
Stefan’s Chicken pot pie is a hit.
Radhika’s dish does well. Indian spices again. Just embrase who you are already and go with it girl.
Carla is star struck but doesn’t do well.
Eugene is story telling. Blah, blah, blah. It’s a bust.
Fabio has dancing crab cakes and they flops.
Jamie is going with the scallops again. It’s bad. One man says slimy and Michelle Bernstein who is also judging is not happy with anything and boy is she vocal. A real little Miss Sunshine I tell ya.

Melissa ,another loser. Leah not a winner either.
Ariane- deviled eggs. A classic. Tom is not impressed. Me neither. Natasha likes them. Tom shrugs.
Hosea a winner with his pork.
Jeff’s seared cheese a winner. How do you do that to cheese? I’d burn it.

Back at the judges table the tops are:
Radhika, Hosea, Jeff and Stefan. Looks like a tragedy turned into a triumph for Radhika and Hosea. Thanks Father Christmas in July.
The winner is Hosea.

Now for the bottom chefs: Eugene, Melissa and Jamie. Aww poor Jamie.
First they jump on Jamie about the temperature of her scallops.
Next is Melissa and the mouthful of cheese she made.
Now Eugene and poor seasoning. Eugene is standing by his dish. Uh-oh Eugene. You are not gonna win this fight.
The judges deliberate and they are not happy with most of the chefs. Tom is upset and wants to talk with them all about stepping up their games. I have a feeling Ariane’s wonderful Deviled eggs did him in.

Tom walks into The Not So Glad room and reads them the riot act. I was right. The Deviled egg come up!

The shocker to me is no one goes home tonight. He calls it a holiday gift. Yeah right. In July.

Best,

Kwana

Thank Goodness for Top Chef. I so needed an escape last night.

The fun begins with a Grand Central then quick cut the chefs waking where they live in wherever land New York.
Stefan is in love with Jamie even though he has no chance at all with her. You are so in the wrong ball park Dude. Too funny.

In the kitchen it’s just Padma for the quick fire and no guest judge. The Challenge is playing “Identify the ingredient” and the chefs are put in pairs to go head to head. Stefan is paired with Jamie. How did THAT happen? They are playing “Name that ingredient” ala “Name That Tune”. Cute. Carla says something about; “tasting in her mind” that I can’t wrap my head around, but it cracks me up as I envision it. So Carla. She’s hilarious. I think I get it and I love her. Hosea wins the challenge against Stefan. Good for him.

Time for the elimination challenge the chefs pull knives labeled, old, new, borrowed and blue. Padma is throwing a bridal shower for Gail. Gail doesn’t want veal or black beans besides that it’s all good.

Radhika is with Ariane and Jamie and Jamie tells her go with Indian food again for their borrowed theme. Poor Radhika. I hope she makes it to one day cook Italian.
Fabio, Leah and Melissa are Blue and Fabio is bummed that there is no blue food. So they are going with and ocean theme.
Carla, Eugene and Dan have new so they are doing sushi.
Jeff, Hosea and Stefan are old so they are going old school. But Stefan is trying to play dictator.
I’ve noticed this season in the kitchen there is not nearly as much drama as in past seasons. It’s a real quiet season. I wonder is the producers are happy with that. I doubt it. I’ll come right out and say it. I miss the drama of a true Marcel. At least Eugene is showing a bit of spunk.

It’s back to the Hosea and Leah flirtation (which I suspect may be manufactured for drama or lack thereof) and it comes out that they both have attachment back home. Hmmm this should be interesting during the recap.

Time for the shower and the longest table ever. Not very good for conversation in you ask me.
First out is ‘something old’. Jeff, Hose and Stefan- Heirloom tomato plate.
Next is ‘new’ Dan, Eugene and Carla’s sushi. I think it confused everyone.
On to ‘borrowed’ with Ariane, Jamie and Radhika and the lamb is not done. It’s down to the wire. But in the end everyone is happy.

Finally ‘blue’ with Fabio and his gang and this late show is running later. Fabio is sent out as the charmer. With all the ohhs and ahhs I think it worked at least in the beginning.
Time for judging. Top groups Old and Borrowed and the winner is Ariane. Again and she is shocked! Jamie is not happy. Always a bridesmaid…

In the bottom are Something new. And Dan is surprised. He says he happy with the dishes and no matter how many faces Tom makes at him or how many sound effects Bravo throws out he thinks they were de-lish! Uh oh, Danny.

Something Blue is on the chopping block too. Fabio wanted to argue, but thinks better of it and shuts his mouth after a steely look from Tom. Those eyes can do it. Smart.
Back in The Not So Glad room things are quite sad. It’s finally doing its job. The judges call them back.
Team blue is safe. Smile Fabio.

Eugene wrist slap, Carla wrist slap.
Daniel “this taste great” is packing and going. Buh-bye Dan!

Next week Martha!!

Best,

Kwana