inspiration,  my view

Eek! December 31st- Who’s Looking back?

Are you kidding me? It’s December 31st ? Really? I wonder how many more question marks I can put into this post to let you know how I feel about it being December 31st and me having to write it??? Seriously??????

For real I’ve been going around the blogs and reading everyone’s year end posts and resolutions and honestly dreading the thought of doing my own so much that it gave me a knot in my stomach and a migraine. Those of you that know me, know how I am with change and worry. All things that something like a New Year can bring angst to. So though I’ll put on the usual smile that you see everyone else wearing on this day toast and blow a horn maybe even don a jaunty cap, I’ll really just be… me.

No I don’t want to look back and reflect on the past year. The bad will only get me down and I’ll magnify it too much making it more than it was. And the good I won’t give enough credit to but I know I should because there is so much good if I really think about I’ll weep with joy way quicker than I would ever over the bad because, silly me, that bad was yesterday not today.

But today I’m still the same old me and I’m not going to look back because I won’t do that right and I’ll just get mad at myself because of all I didn’t accomplish. And I’m not going to look forward because I know I won’t do that right and I’ll just feel stress about all I have to do.

So instead I’ll just keep still and look inward and then upward and stay true to myself and be forever HOPEFUL.

I have only one New Year’s resolution that I will keep striving for ….






Image from here


  • Joyce

    I agree with you I don’t really look back either. I actually got up just as daylight was starting to peek through and looked out the window. I said a silent prayer, asking whatever is in store for me to continue to be by my side.
    The last 3 years have had some wonderful moments, but some not so- even though I consider myself positive I look around the corner with caution. Smile… Thank you for a wonderful post to end the year. I’m sending warm wishes for you and your family for a bright, happy and healthy new year! Happy New Year my friend! xo

  • Laurie at mizwrite

    A few years ago, I started making lists of things I accomplished (however small) rather than a list of resolutions, and it’s actually really very uplifting! It might ease your anxiety. You’ve accomplished a LOT this year, Kwana! (I know that just from reading your blog!) You got your kids’ applications all squared away, entered that cool romance contest (and prob lots of editing checked off with a contest), you started spearheading Romance Loft, you met some great blogging/Twitter friends (in person! how cool!), you moved forward in a health diagnosis, you probably did something or two around the house (new wall hanging? new screen?), etc. — just so many things to feel so proud of! (Not that I’m stalking you or anything! 🙂 So think of all those things as you toast your accomplishments and the health of your beautiful family and sweet Jack! Cheers to you! Thanks for keeping this fun blog!

  • Ina in Alaska

    No. I am not looking back either. Not on 2010, ’09, ’08, ’07 or ’06 for that matter. I am just moving one day at a time. Things were rough for me for a couple of years but I am indeed leaving all that behind. Came out a different person, not better or stronger, just… me.

    Love you, Kwana, for keeping it real. I am glad to be your friend, now, then and in ’11. xoxox PS Next December, please do the hallway decor that Nana & her crowd put together (smiling big!)